DON'T MOVE muthafucka! DON'T MOVE!!

This ain't gonna be one of those blogs where I'm all chipper and shit. Clearly, the first sentence says it all doesn't it? Read on. I've had a fucked up day. Start to finish - fucked. And guess what? You're about to read about it! Or swing on over to eonline.com and check something there. Travis drink (number two) in hand, let's go! Met up with the apartment peeps regarding a neighbor cranking the SHIT out of The Transformers movie last night. When I can feel the bass and hear the dialogue in my living room, we've got some muthafuckin' ISSUES. They will be dealt with. And can I get some peeps to change a lightbulb in the elevated ceilings? I only called LAST MONDAY. That'll be dealt with on Friday. Hip hop hooray. I need to figure out my living situation within the next month - that ish has me stressed. More than I really wanna get into right now, let's move on. I took the day off today and got to take Max to school for the first time. Such a big boy, walked him in and he went down the hall to his classroom by himself. The changes going on with him in the last 30 days alone are absolutely mindboggling in a good way. Doesn't mean there's not issues. He is shy (like his dad) and doesn't really talk much when peeps come at him. We had a long talk about that this afternoon after he basically ignored or said very little to peeps at my work. (we stopped by, he likes daddy's work) We spent the afternoon over at Pacific Science Center which was like a ghost town. I highly recommend you bust over there if you've got kids on a Wednesday afternoon. You can hear yourself think, you don't trip over kids who aren't being watched - it's great. I don't need to go into great detail over the next item cause it will do no good but make me fucking pissed off all over again. In review "fuck you" via the phone and text summed it up very nicely. Oh, and if you happen to be someone who fucked me over a year ago and then you call me up a year later being all chipper and fake and shit, you can catch a bad one. You may also come collect a "fuck you" as well. I've got an endless amount, especially tonight. I'm really not one to be fucked with. To put the cherry on top of my day of hell, Max was chased down the driveway of my complex by a dog who was not leashed. SECOND fucking time it has happened. Max was scared out of his mind (as was I) and I went talked to management immediately. He will also be dealt with. If it happens again, I've got a FUCKING BRICK with his dogs name on it. Try me. I do NOT fucking PLAY when it comes to my son. You will catch a fucking bad one. So tonight, chilled on the couch watching Animal Planet (Max's new favorite) and......DING DONG.....who could that be? The dog's owner? The Transformers neighbor? No. My fly little Puerto Rican from The Bronx here to save the day and my SANITY. I close off here with the biggest smile on my face. The most wonderful things can happen when you least expect them. Believe that....and STAY FLY dammit........

THOOOM bizotches

What a beautiful weekend. If you were in Seattle the past two days, you know this to be true. Why is our fall nicer than our summer? I saw The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D on Saturday. Max loved it. What an incredible piece of filmmaking, truly some crazy ass creativity going on there. As much as I like Pixar and some of the other animated things for kids, that claymation and stop and start action going on is leaps and bounds better. Call me old school - it will be taken as a compliment. That also brings to mind James & The Giant Peach - another masterpiece which I'll introduce to Max soon as well. Max is zedding away, I'm doing some laundry and I start flipping through channels, landing on MTV Cribs. Now, some people on there, you know their stuff is paid for, they're making crazy amounts of ca$h. You see someone on there like Brooke Valentine who had one hit and yet, somehow, has 2 Benz's and an Escalade - you gotta question what's going on there. Answer: she's got roommates. Yup, that's not gangsta. And while I'm at it, if you catch the episode, take off those damn hoops that are bigger than your fucking head. I breathe in, I breathe out. Really, not something to get worked up over. Six in the morning police at my door, fresh Adidas squeakin' cross the bathroom floor. I was listening to Ice-T this morning. "OG Original Gangster" is still, to this day, one of the best damn hip hop albums ever. I'm rollin' in the damn Passat, reciting every line, word for word. I was there for the filming of the "Lethal Weapon" video in 90 and saw him again with Body Count in 91. Ask anyone, he's the one (or at least in the top 3) of people I'd like to interview. Rakim and KRS ONE would round out the other two. Back to the Passat for a minute - had it all washed up on Friday. Woke up and had that morning moisture, that morning DEW if you will, on all the windows. Do I use my wiperblades to get that DEW off of there? Hell to the no. I wipe that off, dry that off, get that all shined up. No lines, no streaks, no mess. I ain't havin' it. I may not drive a Benz, but I do treat my Passat like one. I am borderline crazy. You have all been warned. American Gangster with Russell and Denzel is coming out on Friday isn't it? That flick is gonna be crazy good. If you are a Cingular customer (will peeps stop calling them that now that they're AT&T?) I wonder if you know that the clocks didn't really change last night. There was no falling back, that happens next weekend. What UP? I'm with T-Mobile and apparently I really DO get more cause they didn't change the time on my phone. The time on my G4 changed though. You win some, you lose some. But somewhere, right now, there's someone who didn't hear the news and they'll be early/late for something tomorrow. I laugh out loud with glee. Borderline crazy, remember? Not crazy like THE HULK but borderline something or other. My p-p-p-posse from the Bronx is THICK...! Ever do something you swear you could never do and then, out of the blue, you're able to do it? Good feeling isn't it? AMAZING. Straight up and down, this is some all over the fucking place rambling. Everyone still with me? I feel like I need motion sickness pills just writing it. Bacon tastes good, porkchops taste good. Pulp Fiction should be released in audio form. Bizarre that it's not. Must I come up with all the good ideas on my own people?? PEOPLE!! Alright, these eyelids are getting heavy (yes, I know it's only a bit after 9) so I will close off here. If I could somehow hand out those little bags that you throw up in before each blog I would. This kid needs to rest. Very sleepy. Very much ending it off here cause it's just how we doo. Straight up, if you're really come through, might wanna come fly, and stay fly and just BE FLY...all day, every day......YA HEARD!

MARINATED bloggidy GOODNESS

It's Britney bitch. Shout out to The Warrior of Chaos. BOOYA. Ever lose touch with someone that you thought was one of the coolest, nicest, most talented people you've ever met? And then, one day, they show up in your inbox after around 12-13 years of no contact? That happened to me today. Mr.Dorey (aka: X-ian) is alive and well. We go back to high school, shared a love of music...Public Enemy, Paris, Consolidated, Meat Beat Manifesto...and both of us were definitely on the artistic tip coming up. You can get with this, or you can get with that. I just wanted to shout him out as well - it is DEFINITELY a beautiful thing being back in contact. Much respect. I'm just getting over a cold. I woke up with it on Friday morning with its claws well into me and there was no fighting it. I'd say I'm sitting at a comfortable 90% better now with a full weekend (and Monday) of rest. Take THAT. During my weekend of rest I became addicted to a few terrible shows - America's Most Smartest Model http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/americas_most_smartest_model/series.jhtml . . . Keeping Up With The Kardashians http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/kardashians/index.jsp?sid=nav-shows . . . and The Real Housewives Of Orange County http://www.bravotv.com/Real_Housewives_2 . . . which I think was a marathon of season one. All guilty pleasures and great to watch while on Tylenol Cold and Jack Daniels. I'm just coming through with that marinated bloggidy goodness...what more do you want from me? Back to Public Enemy for a minute, the Paris produced "Remix Of A Nation" ( www.guerrillafunk.com ) hits stores today. SUPPORT THAT! Also, the new PE video went up today over at www.publicenemy.com for "Black Is Back". Originally they wanted to sample AC/DC for the track but they couldn't obtain the rights. These things I know. I also know that waiting in a McDonald's drive-thru for 10 minutes with only one car in front of you is not right. That's why I let dude at the window know...and without cussing. So proud of myself. Can't have Max saying "you're a muthafuckin' bitch" to his friends in kindergarten. Not a good look. Just in case you haven't seen it written all over my face - I am madly in love with my fly little Puerto Rican from The Bronx. BX is in the BUILDING! What more can I say?! I'm so proud of my little man, he fits the very definition of EXCEL. He's writing letters and coloring and drawing pictures of me and him and it's just SO amazing to watch. He's only been in kindergarten for a month and half and it has been such a positive thing for him. Oh, and November 4th in Seattle - Rakim, Ghostface Killah and Brother Ali. To go or not to go, that is the question. To see the R, the fucking 18th letter just RIP mics in half LIVE would be incredible, Ghostface is solid and Brother Ali's latest confirmed that he's one of the few still carrying the torch for hip hop. Ponder young man ponder. Ramble young man ramble. So while the blogs may be few and far inbetween at times, I'm still here, doin' it, head above water, forward motion, keep movin' and movin'. Forward motion, stay fly and STAY FLY.....

BOOGIE DOWN volume EIGHT

Cru - GOIN' DOWN
"It's goin down...boogie boogie down...boogie boogie boogie boogie down...down down down..."

Lady Sovereign - LOVE ME OR HATE ME (Jason Nevins remix)
"If you love me then thank you!..."

The 2 Live Crew - ME SO HORNY
"Im like a dog in heat, a freak without warning...I have an appetite for sex, cause me so horny..."

Marc Anthony - PARECE MENTIRA
(translator please)

Salt N Pepa - LET THE RHYTHM RUN
"Is it over yet? Never, it gets better...we'll let the rhythm run harder than ever..."

The Notorious B.I.G. - HYPNOTIZE
"Never lose, never choose to, bruise crews who...do something to us, talk go through us..."

Mya - MY LOVE IS LIKE...WO
"I hope you have an appetite...so tell me, baby, will you come and spend the night..."

Fugees featuring Bounty Killer - KILLING ME SOFTLY (remix)
"Yo Mona Lisa, could I get a date on Friday..."

Montell Jordan - THIS IS HOW WE DO IT
"So tip up your cup and throw your hands up and let me hear the party say...I'm kinda buzzed and its all because...this is how we do it..."

Busta Rhymes featuring P.Diddy & Pharrell - PASS THE COURVOISIER part II
"I said Busta (whassup son?)...you leave them girls rollin... and it look like (c'mon)...they asses is swollen..."

DJ Shadow featuring Chris James - YOU MADE IT
"So we crawl out from under...the water...out of darkness..."

Foxy Brown featuring Method Man - ILL NA NA
"True Absolut vodka, straight shots...for the has-beens and have-nots, dolla dolla...real and it don't stop, we movin up...first the mansion then the yacht, sound proper..."

Mariah Carey featuring Jadakiss & Styles P - WE BELONG TOGETHER
"It's our time right now, more than ever...til the death, we gon' get it on together..."

Domino - SWEET POTATO PIE
"It's like this...I'm that guy, you're so fly...gotta get a piece of that sweet potato pie..."

Christina Aguilera - CANDYMAN
"He's a one stop, got me hot, makin' my "uh" pop...(sweet, sugar, candyman)...he's a one stop, get it while it's hot, baby don't stop...(sweet, sugar)...."

Missy Elliott featuring Eve - 4 MY PEOPLE
"Make me grind my hips, make me move my waist...when the music comes on, you take my breath away..."

LL Cool J featuring Boys II Men - HEY LOVER
"Swimming in the timeless, currents of pure bliss...fantasies interchanging with each kiss...undying passion unities our souls..."

Beyonce featuring Jay-Z - CRAZY IN LOVE
"It's the way that you know what I thought I knew...it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you..."

J.J. Fad - SUPERSONIC
"You see, the 'S' is for super, and the 'U' is for unique...the 'P' is for perfection and you know that we are freaks..."

Raphael Saadiq - STILL RAY
"Night is where I find you and peace of mind...my days are filled with glee...that's why I truly give you what you need...because you love me for me..."

ELECTRIC RELAXATION

Once again, it's been a minute. These blogs are starting to marinate over a week or two. Don't know what to tell you except that IT'S LIKE THAT...and THAT'S THE WAY IT IS. I'd like to big up Absolut for creating Absolut New Orleans - mango and black pepper flavored vodka. All proceeds from the sale go towards Gulf Coast charities. Get yourself two bottles. Then, drop Absolut an email asking them why they don't have any drink recipes for it on their website. Still, over ice is nice and the flavor is really wonderful. www.absolut.com Did anyone watch the VH1 Hip Hop Honors show on Monday? Good stuff...mostly. Missy was honored much too early and Snoop being honored before Dre is crazy.....nothing comes out when they move they lips, just a bunch of jibberish and muthafuckaz act like they forgot about Dre. I like'em both but it's like they cut in line before some other people in the game and/or VH1 just got lazy. A Tribe Called Quest getting honored was HUGE. Phife, a diabetic, is in need of a kidney transplant YESTERDAY. I was shocked and saddened to see him looking so ill. I really hope he's okay. A Tribe Called Quest to me, really, is absolutely top 5 group of all time material. Who's a better group who released sooooo much incredible material? The first three albums are CLASSIC. Word is bond. People's Instinctive Travels And The Paths Of Rhythm, The Low End Theory and Midnight Marauders are ESSENTIAL. Beats, Rhymes & Life and The Love Movement round things out nicely although hurt a bit due to the sampling laws that came into affect after their 3rd album. Doesn't take away from the fact that they're one of the dopest groups ever. So since they are so good, you'd think some of these younger emcee's would recognize and show respect. Lupe Fiasco can catch a bad one. I'm done with dude. He came out for the Tribe tribute and forgot the classic verse, then went on to say that he's never even listened to Midnight Marauders and never will and that Eightball & MJG put out better stuff. REALLY?? He just shot his entire career (what's left of it) right in his FACE. Not his foot. His face. He will not recover. Kanye can't save you now you little bastard - he gave away all his good beats to Common and didn't even save any for his wack ass third album. CATCH A BAD ONE. I saw Transformers with Max and he loved it, as did I. Even though it's a bit different than the cartoon I grew up on, that is one monster of an action flick. A 180 from that is the new David Cronenberg film, Eastern Promises, starring Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts. Good movie, which has stayed with me since Saturday on the brain, and GREAT performance from Viggo. It's been compared to The Godfather which is a HUGE stretch, to say the least, but it's got LEGS and I'm hoping for a sequel. Why are my eyelids suddenly so heavy? Oh yeah - Absolut New Orleans. GET YOU SOME!! Clearly I didn't have anything of major importance to babble about so this would be the perfect blog. Why are my sentences coming out so funny tonight? Is it just me? I'm closing off here and there's nothing you can do to stop me. Keep this mind, right there at the forefront of your cranium in big letters, all caps - STAY FLY, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY....