ON TOP...there's NO doubt...WE BUGGIN' OUT

Today, I'm not going to talk about how the new PUBLIC ENEMY album is in stores NOW. I will not mention just HOW GOOD my dinner was at KING FISH CAFE on Friday night. Oh mommy, I hope the BANK will close up for business soon. BEEF DIPS smell SO GOOD. (kinda noisy out here, isn't it?) I will not mention anything about making KEYS or how long the line up was at STARBUCKS on Saturday morning to get a grande non-fat white chocolate mocha with no whip and two pumps. Snoqualmie Falls? WHERE'S THAT? Never been. You haven't WALKED A MILE in my shoes and chances are VERY GOOD that the peeps around me are on some sort of BUS TOUR. (IIIIIII love a PARADE~!!!) Sometimes you have to drive around IN A CIRCLE just to get to a Mexican place for lunch. It happens to the best of us. That's okay though when you're driving around in the PASSAT and your soundtrack for zipping around is LILY ALLEN (please get your VISA sorted) and AMY WINEHOUSE (please don't die within the year). I wouldn't know if NORDSTROM or MACY'S is having a sale...I didn't go there this weekend. I do know one thing. While TARGET may sell a certain model of vacuum for FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS, it does not mean you have to buy one. Go get a MASSAGE and a FACIAL. I didn't get one, but I know someone who DID. Have a mentioned how GOOD that new ILL BILL record is? Or how dope that MASTA ACE remix & rarity collection is? I JUST DID. If you have a huge Mexican lunch, find a mall and walk around in it until you can walk no more. Then, later that evening, have a nice SALAD, by candlelight, with REMY SHAND playing and a glass or two of CHAMPAGNE. I would also recommend mixing up a SMIRNOFF BLUEBERRY MARTINI...side effects may be MAYJAH, OUT OF THE BLUE and WITHOUT WARNING. May also cause cravings for LAY'S BBQ CHIPS and random viewings of PULP FICTION. Some people have a lot to say at 5:30 in the morning. Some people should really go to JAVA LOVE when they wake up, get a delicious MOCHA and BREAKFAST. (ohhh! good MORNING!) These things just have to be DONE sometimes...but I don't wanna talk about it. A picture paints a thousand words, doesn't it? I could say a thousand words but I'll sum it up with two - SO FLY..............

BEN SHERMAN must DIE

I don't condone the death of Ben Sherman. Truth is, I don't even want him dead. I want him away from the Marc Ecko Collection. He's all up in Marc's grill and it's not cool. Here's two things for those not knowing...#1 - I am a clothing WHORE. Dirrty (with 2 r's like Christina), rotten clothing whore. #2 - Ben Sherman is a clothing designer (I guess, but who is he REALLY?) and his clothes are located directly next to Marc Ecko's ish which is 10 times flyer than Ben's. I've had it up to here. Sometimes, Ben's stuff ends up on Marc Ecko's racks. Those are Marc's racks, not yours Ben - ya muthafucka. Ease back with a quickness son! If anyone has any information about the location of Ben Sherman, please get at me. I thank you kindly in advance. www.marceckocollection.com (Fall 07 collection is up and it's CRAZY!!...check it) I've been up since around 5 this morning. Couldn't sleep? Yeah, something like that. When you're on a boat and two trains roll by blowing their freakin' whistle and then seagulls are yap-yap-yapping, sleeping is completely out of the question. Plus it was bright as hell this morning at 5:30. Whine whine whine...you got to go on a boat. Yes, I did...with a five year old. YOU go on a boat with a five year old and see how much fun YOU have. Max DID have a great time, fishing for sharks with his Spider-man fishing pole and driving the boat in circles. If he's happy, I'm happy - but ya boy is exhausted. Shall we continue with the ranting? Yes, let us bow our heads and rant. People who drive pick up trucks with camper trailers attached might wanna slow down on those turns, otherwise your shit will flip over and delay ME for a half hour. And to the 80 year old man in the Kia (I'm not joking, I bet he was 83) who decided to use the spot on I-5 where it clearly says no u-turns and the cops usually sit there - FUCK YOU. Damn, that's cold, telling an 83 year old man that. Yeah? Well, he didn't use that lane and pull out WITHOUT STOPPING in front of you, causing me to break and swerve to avoid hitting the motherfucker going 70mph. I'm so glad Max was taking a nap for that one. He woke up wondering how his dvd player ended up on the floor of the car. It's not just a car - it's a Passat and oh how I love it so. Random things to fill up space...Coke Zero (and Sprite Zero) are delicious...those double flavor Doritos are a tasty idea (thanks Stacie)...music to guide the way included lots of Lily Allen, the new Public Enemy and the new Common...people from California drive fucking NUTS...shout out to my man Champagne - keep ya head up...changing lives since April 16th NO diggety NO doubt...the flyest of the fly, why ask why?...if I had some Smirnoff Blueberry vodka, I'd drink it...did Starbucks feel pressure from Smirnoff and create the newly released blueberry frappacino...did I spell frappacino right?...does it even matter? I have to gotz ta GO. As the sun shines down on the lord's day, wave ya hands in the air like you just don't care. Muthafucka say WHAT? It's been a pleasure as always and I thank you for taking the time to read this rambling. Look out...scatter...get out the way...MOVE!! This is only the beginning. STAY FLY...