RETURN of the PRODUCT

Return of the product...of the environment. Was my last blog really on Tuesday? TUESDAY?! It's eons ago! Oh well, make the best of it, mix yourself up some white grape juice and Skyy Berry and call me in the morning. 8:30? It's so early! I am fighting back...fighting back against the sun that seems to rise and wake me up every g'damn morning at 5 o'clock. Really sun? Really 5 o'clock? Not cool. I have blinds but I have no curtains. I need curtains. I think I may have mentioned in a past blog that it's darker in my room with the blinds OPEN than it is when they are CLOSED. Well I'm not going to take it anymore. *pause to sip drink* Delicious. I have push pins and I have towels and blankets and they are now covering the two windows in the bedroom. So clever. So fly. *pause to sip drink again* Maxwell is back, and apart from a slight sunburn on his face, seems to be all in one piece. We went to the Pacific Science Center to see the IMAX dinosaur film for a 3rd time (it's how we doo!) and he rode on some rides at Seattle Center, had lunch, hung out at my place, then headed over to this little park in Renton (not crazy ass Coulon) which is on Lake Washington and it's got this little beach area and playground and no one is ever there. I love it. (DAMN that was a fucking long run-on sentence!!) Max fell asleep tonight in a record breaking 5 minutes so I was a happy daddy. It was very odd to not have him around for so long. I'd like to say I feel re-charged but mr.sun is f'in with the kid. Did anyone see the BET Awards? Normally I wouldnt tune in but apparently Public Enemy closed out the show with a tribute to James Brown. DOPE. I'm sure it's up on youtube, I just haven't checked yet. iPhone is out now and I still want one. They're sick. They make me want to throw up and hurl with joy. Have you seen anything like it before? No. No, you have not. Watch as every other cell phone maker trys to play catch up and then they'll try and say it's better than the iPhone. Good luck with that fuckers. Damn, you are so grumpy and mean! I'm not. I just think it's funny that every critic has something to say about the iPhone - trust me, it will set the standard of how a cell phone should be....and this is only first generation. Check out the new model a year from now. Shit will probably hover next to your ear when you're talking for 5000 minutes. Get down, get down, party time. Damn, forgot about my drink...hold up!!...wait a minute! TASTY. Tomorrow, more outdoor time at the park, at the beach, whatever my boy wants to do. It really and truly is all about him and whatever he wants. No major malfunctions here. We stay fly on the real to real. The sun is down now and it's extra dark in my room...love it. Who's the boss now mr.sun?! Me! Me! Dat's who! Who needs to buy curtains? ME! So I guess I'll close off here. If you've been reading this not under the influence of alcohol - shame on you - pour yourself a little sumthin' sumthin'...you'll thank me later. This is how we doo...almost every damn day so bear witness and above all, press rewind if I haven't blown ya mind - STAY FLY..........

I'M in PARADISE NOW

When you leave, take me with you. Get your face off of the screen. Write anything that comes to mind. Quickly. Type type type muthafunkaz! It's 31 minutes until midnight. The pressure is on but like Erick Sermon on his first solo album after the break up of EPMD - No Pressure. Is my signal coming in okay? Can you hear me now? Shut the fuck up little Verizon man! How much longer can they possibly keep THAT going? Verizon is one of the single largest contributors to the republikkkan party. True dat. Might wanna cancel that contract. I'm just sayin' though. Where has Teen Titans gone? Max and I would watch it all the time and there's been no new episodes in about a year now. Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a kids cartoon advisor. Max is doing good by the way, he went swimming today and is looking forward to coming home to stay with daddy and watch the IMAX dinosaur movie again and go to Gameworks. Word to my Maxwell. I'm typing as fast as I can, gimme a break. 27 minutes until midnight...chillin' at AM/PM....coolin' drinkin' apple juice in Evil's B-M...(Ice-T reference, sorry) So, how's everyone doing tonight? All 8 of you!! WHUT UP?! Howyoudoodat?! Why am I not sleeping? My eyes are going to burn in the morning. They'll be screaming at me saying, hey stupid bastard, go to bed a little earlier. And I'll say, fuck you eyes, I'm the boss. Shut up, drink your mocha and be happy. Delicious. I'm trying to cut back on the evils of caffeine. Instead of a 12oz tomorrow - 8oz. Always thinking. Always thinking. So clever. So tired. This blog is all over the damn place. People who once said you're a good writer will never read this blog again....and then what? I'll be down to possibly 3 or 4 people reading it. Readership, not that great. Can I get some beer in a keg from your garage? No? It's all gone? Who could have possibly drank it all?? Pass the champagne. Pass the champagne. Actually, the temptation to eat a big bowl of Honey Smacks is definitely a possibility. What's not to like? Puffed wheat coated in sugar! Nothing like getting your heart racing right as you're wanting to go to sleep. 21 minutes until midnight. I'll probably wake up tomorrow at around....6 in the morning, police at my door, fresh Adidas squeakin' cross the bathroom floor...out the back window to make my escape, didn't even get a chance to grab my old school tape. (sorry, Ice-T again) So I think my job is done here for this evening. I really must catch mad zed's. DOOITDOOITDOOIT. Hungry for Honey Smacks. That g'damn frog and his honey smacks! In closing, I'd like to remind all of you that is highly advisable to stay fly all day every day. YA HEARD?! I'm out.....zzzzz aka:zedzedzedzedzed........