LUCKY CHARMS

I am sick to death of the bullshit. Here he goes again scaring people to death. Unfortunately, no green clovers or purple horseshoes at the moment. I'll get back to it...maybe in this blog, but for now allow me to say: EFF THE BULLSHIT. I will call you on it time and time again. The darkness just tried calling me. The power of rejection is something else. You can get the finger. What finger? The middle. Are you going to make that change or are you just going to keep babbling, talking loud and ain't sayin' NUTHIN'. Round and round and round we go. You need to step it up with a quickness - consequences can be a muthafucka man. Where is that happy face? On vacation, just for a second, I swear. My therapist is closing down shop after 25 years and moving to the mid-west to be with her sister in law who is dying of cancer. How sad. I enjoyed building with her, facing my demons, and coming out of it a spectacular human being. I'm a good one. I always have been, but I'm extra fucking good now. Sometimes you just wanna hit delete....or in this case, again with the darkness, the reject button is wonderful. It feels so good. Why do I have to deal with all this crap? Why am I walked on and taken advantage of time and time again? The gloves are off. I am stronger and, quite honestly, don't have time, not a second, to deal with this. You rub me the wrong way, you're gettin' dumped on. You come at me twisted, dumped on. I don't wanna have to...you think I like feeling like this? I feel all fucked up right about now, stressed the fuck out, ulcers coming back...catch a heart attack and put your back up against the wall. You can get it, get it, get it...yeah. So tired, worn down, worn out....and yet, reinvigorated and recharged and ready to roll out. This week has been a mixed bag. When it's been good, it has been off the scales of good. When it's been bad, really, I feel like I'm gonna snap. How much more of this can I possibly take? How much longer must I be subjected to this kind of behavior. I just really needed to get this out. Nothing happy about it and I apologize. I like the kinds of blogs where I'm a rambling, alcohol influenced mess. But it's a fun mess. This is just a mess. I'm not mr.friendly, I can be a prick, if you tempt me my tank gets on empty, no patience is in me and if you offend me I'm liftin' you 10 feet in the air, I don't care.............but I do. I care about my boy. I care about him above anything on the planet. You mess with him, you're messing with me and you don't want that. Really? You don't want that. It's my responsibility, one that I take seriously, to make sure that he is cared for and loved in every way possible. He knows I love him, now more than ever. There's no time like the present to make yourself a better person, in some way, shape or form. I strive for that, striving for that happiness. I can see it, feel it and know that I am well on my way. Thanks for reading and stay fly. Capital F, capital L, capital Y. You heard..................