BREAKING NEWS on dat AZZ

I know this is going to be hard to believe. I understand it might be a little hard to take. Some might find it hard to swallow. But the truth is this - I have been walking around with a giant cist/potentially fatal spider bite almost in the middle of my forehead for almost 5 days now. I am waiting for the venom to take effect...for the poison to slowly make its way into my brain. I can just imagine, laying in bed, happily zedding away when a giant spider lowers itself down from the ceiling. It lands directly on my forehead and because of the scent of my new Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue (I am not a label whore...I would prefer to be called a "dirrty label slut") proceeds to lay into me with its fangs and deadly poison. It's a pimple people and a ginormous one at that. Clean & Clear, Oxy, this and that...like this, that and this and uhhhhh...I wanna go to work but could you loan me a paper bag? It's the new look. Lemme call up Erykah Badu right quick...I just know she's got a head wrap for me. I would rock that mutha all day LONG, and bust out with some ill Justin Timberlake dance moves. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW. It's a talent. A gift. A curse. Going back to babble about Superbad for a minute - there was a preview for the new Batman (summer 08) and it was just the Batman symbol and dialogue. I became slightly aroused in the moment and the next 10 months waiting around for the next best movie ever will suck. In the meantime, Superbad The Sequel will be written and shot and released and make another 20 ba-zillion dollars off obscene amounts of cussing. I am all for cussing...I'm a Kevin Smith fan, remember? But when the cussing is just cussing for the sake of cussing - I ask why....and then I move on cause it really doesn't matter and this babble about Superbad (like they really NEED any more word of mouth) ends here. Common is releasing his next single and - doo doo doo doo - it's the track with LILY ALLEN. I'm in search of an astronaut suit right...NOW. Go to youtube and search for Common & Lauryn Hill. The track is Retrospect For Life - should have been HUUUUUUGE and wasn't - but Lauryn's vocals on that joint give me chills to this very day. Beautiful. I just want you to know. You're my favorite girl. Oh yea there's something about you. So this weekend, we're supposed to go see John Legend and Joss Stone in the afternoon and Lupe Fiasco and Wu Tang Clan in the evening at Bumbershoot. Rain rain go away, please don't fucking rain on Monday like it says in the stupid bastard forecast. Damn you rain...damn you!! No, you're not father...it's not true....I'll never join you!!!! I've been up since 5...please excuse me if I burst into random Snoop songs or Star Wars dialogue. Apparently this evening, it's just how I doo. And on that note, this dirrty little label slut will hit "PUBLISH POST" and get my chill on. But make no mistake, no matter what, no matter if the bank is open or not - so FLY - all day, every day......