5-0 said FREEZE...and I got NUMB

It was one of those beautiful days in Seattle today...the kind of day that demands a little time spent in the Passat with A Tribe Called Quest's 2nd and 3rd albums - The Low End Theory and Midnight Marauders. Those aren't in your collection? GET ON IT. I am sitting here, finally recovered from Friday evening. Friday evening consisted of (Travis) drinks, martini's to celebrate Mommy's birthday, and then after dinner drinks consisting of a substance known as THE DEVILS DRINK. Don't know what the devil's drink is? Didn't know the devil was bottling up and selling this substance to the masses? No? Allow me to fill you in. The devil is the maker of CHAMPAGNE. Yes, champagne. Now you could say, ohh, it's just cause you mixed or ohh, it's cause you're a lightweight or ohh, it's cause you're Canadian. No. That's not it. Champagne is manufactured and produced and marketed and promoted by...THE DEVIL. I was hung the FUNK OVER for a solid 24+ hours. Never in my life have I been THAT messed up. Never. Champagne is the devils drink. I have decided that water is from the lawd. LAWD LAWD LAWD. So happy birthday to MOMMY. I had a great time hanging with you and my fly little Puerto Rican from the Bronx and a late night, beer in a paper bag appearance from Stacie. She told me to go do the Mary Kate or the Kate and Ashley. I listened. Thank you. The end. My sister came into town yesterday and in my hung over state I managed to make it over to Red Robin to meet her for lunch at around 2:30 in the afternoon. WHAT does Red Robin PUT in their FOOD?? WHY do I feel like I have eaten TWO gardenburgers instead of ONE when I walk out of there? WHO actually takes the dessert menu and ORDERS something off it when they're done? I don't get it. I pace myself, I drink plenty of water, I don't rush and I walk out completely STUFFED. I must further investigate. Perhaps it's something in those fries...or perhaps, just perhaps, Red Robin is a chain of restaurants OWNED and OPERATED by THE DEVIL!!!!!!! He's following me everywhere I go...or perhaps he left town yesterday to go visit Britney Spears in Vegas to completely FUCK UP her performance at the VMA's? I'll find out for myself just how BAD it is in about 39 minutes from now. Right now, I think I'll close off here, but before I do - CONGRATULATIONS to my man THE WARRIOR OF CHAOS and BETH, who got married in Vegas last weekend. AMAZING. All the VERY best to them. I raise my glass of water to you, and in the future, we must celebrate properly. Bartender, a refill on this water please, and make it a double. Thank you kindly. You know the drill, carbs or no carbs, so FLY...all day, every day....(YAY!)